if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
