D3 body, D1 cock
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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