i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
not ubering you a puppy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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