I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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