Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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