so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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