I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
