So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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