Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
