Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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