who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
