Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
