You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
