and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize