That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
how does that bad decision feel?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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