Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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