How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
