brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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