sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
