i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize