winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
