Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
