I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
