Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
