Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
