doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize