i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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