dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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