i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
