Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
