i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
