i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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