She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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