You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
