So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
