Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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