So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
