Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
