oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
