Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
