My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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