it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
