Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
