If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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