There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
