I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
