My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
