At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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