if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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