The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
