doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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