i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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