apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize