just survived the first fart of the relationship.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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