Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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