just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
