S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
