Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
