Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
