the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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