I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
