Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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